Back In The Day, A Little History Lesson

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"  But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.  Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell, Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men,  then the women and finally the

children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. And to think, we thought they were only for looks!  Who would have thought they were practical, (at one point and time), also! 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,

so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.

Hence: a thresh hold.    (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the

stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas

porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home

the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.

Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake

up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running

out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins

were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would

tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone

could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring

Snowpocalypse 2013

For those of you here in the Midwest that are shocked at the amount of snow we are getting, did you forget where we live?  Geez people!  It's winter, it snows, and we have been lucky the past couple of years.  And this second round, well it's Mother Nature's way of saying shut up pansies, shit happens!  With that being said, let me not forget to mention that I hate the snow, too.  I wish I lived in an area that didn't have harsh winters.  But I live here in the Midwest, always have, always will.  Therefore I have no reason to bitch about it. 

I think being prepared is a great thing, but some of you have gone way overboard!  I mean, it's a snow storm.  The sun will rise, the temps will go up and the snow will melt soon.  Road crews get the streets cleared and it's back to normal.  We're talking a day or 2.  So why in the hell are people buying out the stores like its the end of the world!  Seriously, did you really have to buy 6 gallons of milk, 8 loaves of bread and 10 dozen eggs?  And with the amount of cheese that was bought, I hope those people also bought some stool softeners! 

I have a great idea, for all of those people that complain that they have no time to clean and catch up on laundry...do it now while you can!  Those isles were still full of products! Maybe you can straighten up closets, clean out the cabinets.  Or even go play in the snow with the kids, enjoy a snow day with them!.  Sledding is a fun, help a neighbor shovel out their driveway or sidewalks.  

My whole point to this rant was the over buying of groceries.  We ALWAYS do our weekly shopping on the weekends.  It was such an aggravating adventure, only half our list was even purchasable. There was NO reason to see empty shelves at the stores.  It made us laugh after we thought about it.  ALl of those people "stocking up" will be feeling the aggravation when all of that food goes bad and they never came close to using it all.  They bought so much that it left people without.  We are not procrastinators, we were there 48 hours before the storm is even thought to be entering the area.  It was just crazy!  I might have to go steal a damn chicken to just to get some eggs!  And I need eggs to make my own bread since it was all gone!  

We are going to wait until tomorrow when the storm hits and take our happy asses in our excellent running 4X4, driven very well by husband and finish our shopping.  We are buying what we normally would for the week, and at the end of the week we will do it all over again.  We have a strong gut feeling that this snow WILL melt and go away soon.  We also are fairly certain that we will NOT be trapped in our homes and forced to eat our pets and young to survive.  Call us crazy, but we will also not have a shit ton of wasted food go bad this week.  We will also be careful to not wipe out the stock, (unless there is a GREAT coupon deal going on!).

So fair well my fellow Midwesterners!  Guard your livestock from thieves, hide your food fortunes well, batten down the hatches, board up the windows and doors and brace yourself for a huge amount of snow.  And in 2 days or less...enjoy watching it all melt away.  

Other Peoples' Kids

This weekend marks a VERY joyous occasion for our family!  The neighbors with the annoying kids are MOVING!!!!  YEAH! YEAH! YEAH!  I cannot begin to tell you how happy we are!  I actually think the entire neighborhood is thrilled.  These kids are on enough meds to keep a pharmacy in operation with their business alone.  Honestly, I don't think they really need them all, but not really my place to say something like, "why don't you try actually raising your kids.  You know, pay attention to them, use discipline when needed, set rules and stick with them...and not hoping a pill will make them behave." But that's just my thoughts...

This would be perfect example of what the 2 youngest act like ALL the time.  We don't have a fence and they seem to think our backyard, more specifically 8 feet from our back door is a good place to hang out and a walk through...they like to shout at each other, fight and so on.  They have one volume. LOUD!

The dad (not the biological dad of any of them, kudos to him for at least stepping up to be a dad, just too bad he is not really a good one), is a part time umpire.  He is about 100 over weight, and a total goober.  Being an ump must make him great at all sports, or so he thinks.  I guess he thinks it makes him moncho?  Once in a while when he wants to make himself look like a real parent he will toss the ball around with them, using mostly our backyard.  They have too many trees I guess?  When ever an issue arises with one of their kids, the dad goes into describing how his boys can kick some ass...well guess what Chubby?  I can kick your fat ass!  Now what?!   He blames their misbehavior on "anger issues" to excuse it.  Never once is it ever fixed.

The mom is not any better.  She knows everything about everyone in the neighborhood.  She knows that we are paying too much for our place (LOL) and that all of the neighbors are horrible to her children.  When an issue arises that needs to be discussed about her kids, she will say, "Get on to them!  If you see them acting up just go for it, tell them to straighten up!  Scare the hell out of them!"  Well, honey...THAT IS YOUR JOB!  I have my own kids to raise, I sure as hell do not want to raise yours!  She is a yeller and the whole damn neighborhood can hear her.  It must be where the kids get their volume issues from.  


They like to leave their toys, sports equipment and such in our yard often.  Once in a while, when it is nice and dark outside those items "disappear".  It obviously doesn't teach them much of a lesson since the habit continues, but it fills us with satisfaction to a point, lol.  They really have no idea what the leash law is, or how to clean up after their own dog.  She was actually a smart dog, she never shit it in her own yard, she always left that for us to clean up.  

The younger boys had sticky fingers, you know they kind that bring things home they "find", like the steering wheel from the playground jungle gym, things like that. There is nothing like glancing out of your own window and into your own yard and seeing them staring back at you.  They creeped me out on a regular basis.  I would be appalled if my kids were to have done that, it's just weird!  They would just pop out from behind our vehicles when we were backing out of driveway, that was a safe practice!  They claimed they were just cutting through, but whatever. 

Their oldest son is a bit strange to say the least.  He seems fully functional, not delayed at all, but just very odd.  He often walks around the neighborhood with a bandana tied around his face, just covering his mouth, kind of reminds me of the old cowboy style bandits, lol.  He was actually the most polite, and sadly not there all the time.  He'd spend every other week with his dad.  It seems we know a lot about them, but that is not because we are nosy, they are just very much habitual over-sharers.     


Well, there it is...I got it off of my chest.  They are leaving, and sorry to say they will not be missed.  I wish them well, no...really!  I do!  Stop laughing!   I hope that they mature a bit and make a better impression in the new 'hood and have great neighbors!  And I hope that my next neighbors are really great or childless!   Here's to peace in our little utopia!

The Gay Boob and the Ass

Catchy title, huh?  Let me explain...we bought our youngest son a tablet, (Google Nexus, awesome!) not too long ago. Being the youngest of 4 (teens and adults), he always had envy of the older kids' electronics.  We didn't want to get him his own game system like the 2 boys.  He didn't need a fancy "I" product of any type.  He loved the features on our phones, (which are all Google based), so the tablet was the perfect choice! 

Even at the age of 8, the video game bug has bitten him.  He likes the game Minecraft.  He has to earn his game time, but he does well with it.  His other favorite thing to do with tablet time is watch various videos on Youtube.  That usually consists of videos about mind craft, cartoons and a few videos about pranksters   All innocent stuff that is done in front of us. 

Since today was President's Day he didn't have school and stayed home with his brother.  Around lunch time I got a call asking if he could get on his tablet for a bit.  I figured, why not?  He has been good, he is bored hanging with his brother, no harm, no foul.  I ate my lunch and afterwards I was going to show my coworker a funny video my husband put up on Youtube.  I brought it up on my phone and before I could get to the video I wanted to show her, I see where my youngest has "commented" on a video.  He has NEVER done that before and I clicked on it to check it out...WOW!  

I had to excuse myself from my coworker and go further check out what I was reading here.  Now mind you, it was NOT anything horrible, but it WAS posted by my 8 year old son!  The first video was from a popular Youtube couple that I will not mention their names.  They have been deleted from my son's account, lol.  It was not a bad thing, in fact they mentioned pranks in their title, so that must be why Youtube returned it in the search results.  In the video they were discussing zombie names from a online generator and the lady's came back as "Boob eater", the guy was Gay something.  So, my young, sweet and innocent 8 year old thought it would be cute to combine their names since he thought "boob eater" was gross.  He typed a simple comment, 2 words that made me flip..."Gay Boob".

Now I am sure he my son didn't mean it as an insult to anyone, not at all.  He knows what gay means, he knows what boob means.  And thanks goodness at 8, boobs are still gross, lmao!   It doesn't lessen the shock of seeing that typed out from my son's alias, (he is not allowed to use his real name online).  I called him, told him to put the tablet away, told him I saw the comment and I was not happy.  He instantly cried, claimed to understand my anger and hung up to go read a book.  I then called my husband and told him the story.  After he finally quit laughing, he decided that we really didn't set up the clearest of rules for him on the tablet.  He was usually on it around us, we hadn't needed to, until today.

I calmed down, called my son back and explained to him that it was not appropiate to use that word at his age or on the internet.  I told him we would talk about it when we got home from work.  In the middle of talking about it, my husband sends me a text that he saw another post from our son.  OMG...really child?!  Yes, again it was not age appropriate.  This one was on a vlog for the same couple, and they had shown a shot of hairy legs, clearly belonging to the man in the video.  Jokingly someone commented how hairy the girl's legs were, lol.  I guess it upset my son and he replied to this guy, "It his leg, ass".  I had to reread it several times and actually ask him what it meant, (it was before I saw the video.

It sounds horrible to say my 8 year old called a grown up an ass on Youtube, it makes it sound like we are horrible parents.  Honestly, we do use cuss words, he hears them, (don't judge) and he knows better than to use them himself.  Or at least we thought!  The funny thing, (yes...there is a funny part of this), I am not sure he meant it as an insult.  It would seem that way.  I sure thought so at first.  But as read the page, everyone was using this word.  Actually quiet a few people were calling others an ass.  Not that it makes it right by any mean, but he thought it was part of joke and was following along with everyone else.  I did have the urge to use my mother's famous line of "if all your friends jumped off a bridge...", but I refrained.  

To sum it up, my son was very embarrassed.  We checked his account activity very well and today was the first and only day he had ever commented on there.  It was also the last for a VERY long time.  He felt bad, and I don't think he thought it was visible by everyone.  He learned a valuable lesson, as did we.  We questioned our parenting for a few moments and then we were over it.  Lessons taught, lessons learned.  No one ever said raising kids was easy!!!!  I love my family!

I Love My Kids

I love my kids, I really do!  But we all have to admit, it is so peaceful and relaxing at night after they have all gone to sleep!  I can sit back and relax and enjoy the quiet...WAIT!  Who am I kidding?!  That is when I get all of MY stuff done! No one is in the way, no one is asking me a thousand questions and interrupting my flow.  It's mommy time!  

OK, so not exactly mommy time, more like catch up time.  Its the only time I can clean a toilet and it stays cleans.  I don't have finger prints, (or whole hand prints) on the bathroom mirrors.  I can make a clear pathway so I don't trip over, step on and smash a toy.  It's a glorious time, it lasts until I can no longer keep my eyes open...the other night my 8 year old told us as he walked off to bed, "You guys are so lucky you get to stay up late."  HA! If he only knew! LOL  

  

Some days it bothers me, feels like a work my ass for nothing.  The house gets destroyed time and time again.  And I spend many more late nights cleaning and cleaning.  Other days I am grateful for the time I get to spend with my kids.  I am not wasting that time cleaning and such.  I am there to help with homework, play a game, read a book, watch a movie or just hang.  Its nice, because let's face it...they are not going to remember that you left a sink full of dinner dishes or a ring in the tub. They are going to remember that they "beat" you at tic tac toe, they are going to remember that you were a good "hider" with hide and seek.  They are going to remember the fun walks, sharing laughs and making memories.  I love my kids, I really do...but once in a while that silence is nice, too.

Copy Cat

Since I am required by law to feed my kids, I like to do a good job at it.  And since they all have fairly good taste in food, I have to be on top of my game.  I am always searching for new recipes and easier/better ways to make them.  And some of my favorites are the ones that tell me how to make my favs from restaurants and store bought pre made items.  I have scoured the internet to put together a fairly good sized list of these.  I thought I would share a few with all of you...all are tested and not too bad, if I do say so myself!

KFC Chicken Seasoning Mix

1 tablespoon rosemary
1 tablespoon oregano
1 tablespoon sage
1 teaspoon powdered ginger
1 teaspoon marjoram
1 1/2 teaspoons thyme
3 tablespoons packed brown sugar
3 tablespoons minced parsley
1 teaspoon pepper
1 tablespoon paprika
2 tablespoons garlic salt
2 tablespoons onion salt
2 tablespoons chicken bouillon powder
1 package Lipton tomato cup-a-soup mix

Place all ingredients in blender with on\off speed for 3-4 minutes to pulverize, or rub through a fine strainer. 
Store in an airtight container. 
Add 1 oz. mix to cup of flour for coating chicken.








Olive Garden Alfredo Sauce

1 pt heavy cream
1 stick butter
2 T cream cheese
1/2 to 3/4 c Parmesan cheese
1 tsp garlic powder

in a saucepan combine butter, heavy cream, and cream cheese. Simmer this until all is melted, and mixed well. Add the Parmesan cheese and garlic powder. Simmer this for 15 to 20 min on low. (can be left on low longer, just watch it and stir) I have done this with half and half, but we prefer the heavy cream. But wouldn't try it with plain milk.



Outback Onion Ring Dipping Sauce

1 pint Mayonnaise 
1 pint Sour cream 
1/2 C. Tomato chili sauce 
1/2 tsp. Cayenne pepper 

Combine and mix well, enjoy!






Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuits

2 C buttermilk baking mix (small box, Jiffy Mix equals 2 cups)
2/3 C milk
1/2 C shredded cheddar cheese (extra sharp?)
1/4 C butter
1/2 tsp garlic powder

Preheat oven to 450*. 

Combine mix, milk and cheese with a wooden spoon until soft dough forms. Beat vigorously 30 seconds. Drop dough by heaping tablespoonfuls onto an ungreased cookie sheet. Bake 8 - 10 minutes until golden brown. Combine butter and garlic powder; brush over warm biscuits before removing from cookie sheet. Serve warm. Makes 10 large biscuits.

This is a little bit off from I normally post, but damn it...I was hungry!  This is just a few, I have many more. If you want to see them, comment and let me know!  Try them out and let me know what you think.  Until next time...

Guilty Pleasures

I pride myself on putting my family first, for the most part...but hey, every mom needs to indulge in a few pampering for herself every now and then, right?!  Well, it's not often that I get to go and "get my nails did", so I usually do them myself.  That means that I have had a lot of trial and error and a LOT of practice.  I buy all the gadgets, different nail polishes and stuff to go along with it.  I usually look up ideas on the internet and practice, practice, practice...here are a few designs that I found and really like!

None of these are easy, but with a little practice I might be able to come up with something close.  It is my little reward, to buy dozens of nail polish, many from the same hue family, lol...(yes, I have many shades of pink!).  I wish I had the time to go to a trade school and learn the fine art of nail design, but even with school I would still have to practice like crazy because I lack the easy talent gene.  Without practice, my nails would look like this...

Practice DOES make perfect!