OMG STFU

First let me just say, I love ALL of my kids...even the ones that act like assholes.  Yep, you read that right!  

You were thinking it, I just said it.  Hell I was thinking it too!  It's true, especially the older ones.  Oh the joys of parenthood!  It is such an extreme, ranging from being so proud one moment to wanting to gnaw your own arm off to get away to next.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself, but some days are really a true test of strength, sanity and your ability to cope with pure ciaos. 

The good thing is that right now, only 2 of the 4 kids are pains.  I have questioned and judged my own parenting abilities after dealing with them, and I have come to this conclusion...they are just being assholes.  Cruel you say?  How could a parent say that about their own child you say?  Well, live with them, deal with their antics and then you tell me.  Trust me, calling them assholes is actually a nicer alternative.  

Its really not as bad as it sounds.  An asshole is simply someone who disrupts the generally tranquil nature of a certain situation or place.  They can also be a rude, selfish and/or offensive person.  So see, I have just described the majority of the world.  We can all be assholes from time to time, but 2 of these kids are pushing their limits!  Much like a lot of kids do.  But what is a parent who has tried everything to do?  You buckle up and hold on...it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

For the most part they are not doing anything that the majority of others kids don't do or things we haven't done ourselves at those ages.  It is just amplified and extreme at times. At some point you just hope there is a cut off point where it all stops.  You pray for it, you live for it!  You want to protect them from doing wrong, you want them to grow up happy healthy and hopefully fully intact...you can only do so much.

I pray that all of my kids grow up to be spectacular adults who strive to improve their very existence at every given moment.  But hell, let's get realistic.  I want them to finish college, get a job that pays better than average and remember to call their mother once in a while!  I want them happy, healthy and full of the knowledge that no matter how much of an asshole they were in their teen/young adult years that they are still loved and cared for, barely, but they are.  Is that too much to ask for?

So, before you plan your revenge and before you sever all ties to them, just remember...being an asshole is NOT always a permanent thing.  They are capable of  change, not all of them, but most.  There will be a few of you that are unlucky, God bless you, you are in my prayers.  For those who have the ones that turn around and become productive and semi proper members of society, count your blessings.  And secretly hope that their kids give them a dose of what you dealt with!  

I am holding out for the turn around and hoping the other two never start...until next time, peace, love and sanity.

Bragging Rights...

I cannot tell you how many times I hear my coworkers bragging about how cute their kids are, what cute little things they say when dancing around or playing on a play date and how well they did in 3 year old soccer, and blah blah blah blah.  Then here I am...OK, it is my turn to brag, so here it goes, "My 7 year old out burped my 19 year old.  It was so loud it shook the living room windows!"  Whew!!!!  Top that one ladies!  Oh wait, I shared a cute story, so why are they all looking at me like that?  


Of course we all come from different backgrounds, and there are a few different "money classes", but when you break it down, we are all on the same level.  We all get along and share stories and laugh together, except when it comes to kids.  It seems to be like a "my kid is better than your kid" type of thing.  And they try to make themselves sound like the perfect parent.  Well here it goes, I will be the first to admit it, "I am NOT a perfect parent!"  That just took a load off of my shoulders!  Perfect by definition: completely free from faults or defects, or as close to such combination as possible.  <----that folks, is not me, and I wouldn't want that!  What fun would that be?


I happen to be a very proud momma, and I love my kids very much.  I brag on them whenever possible.  It just seems that my bragging might be a little too much real world compared to my coworkers.  I am not ashamed, embarrassed or too proud to share some of the silly things or what some of my coworkers seem to think it too taboo to discuss.  For example, has your kid ever cussed, (on accident or purpose, lol)?  Mine have...every single one of them!  


Not that I am proud of it, but you have to laugh sometimes about it.  Here is my favorite...my oldest son was about 3, he had gotten in trouble for something and I told him to stand in the corner.  Very quietly I thought I heard him say something like "damn it"...I asked him what he said, he said "nothing".  Then a few seconds later, I heard it again, only a little bit louder, "damn it". I immediately asked him again, "What did you say?"  He turned and looked at me, with a very puzzled look on his face and said, "Nothing".  I was thinking to myself, how dare you lie like this! He turned his face away and then once again I heard it, I knew it!  I remember saying, "Why did you say that?  That is a bad word!"  He looked up at me, still puzzled and said, "I didn't see you."  Now I was puzzled.  And asked what he meant.  He seemed to think that if he didn't see my face, that I couldn't hear him, lol.  He was mad that he was in time out, hence the "damn it".  Now I know that it is not appropriate for a 3 year old to say that, but DAMN IT, the context was right on the money! lol  Don't worry, I did not condone it, and he was told him that it was not nice to say that.  Afterwards, I went to the bathroom and laughed so hard I cried.


There are inappropriate things everywhere you go, and you cannot shield your child from it all.  I am not overly cautious and so strict that my kids never heard bad words or phrases as young children.  With that said, I was not shouting out cuss words with every sentence I spoke.  But occasionally they would slip and it was not a shock for them to hear it.  It was also a good learning moment, lol..."don't say that just because Mommy did".  And you know what, my kids respect that at home.  


Like I previously stated in my blog, I am not your normal everyday mom...but maybe I should be.  By that, I do not mean I should change one bit, but maybe others could take a lesson from me.  I think that a lot of parents are in some ways like me, they just won't admit it...and the rest of them are not ready for my type of parenting, lol.