Pranking the Kids, Had to Put it on You Tube!

We knew we were good parents, but this video just proves it!  Let me give you the back story here and let you watch the video...we got a new puppy a few months ago.  He has proven to be a great addition to our family, but he has also proven to be a lot of work! The kids have all been great pitching in for the most part, but they still have a lot to learn about dealing with a puppy, especially a Miniature Pinscher...he may be little, but he thinks he's big.  See for yourself: 

Yes, his name is "Uncle Hey Zeus", don't judge. We just have a weird sense of humor.  He just goes by Zeus.  Anywho...we have had an appointment for him to get neutered and Saturday was the big day.  Our youngest, (who is soon to be 9) asked us about the "procedure" as he called it.  He asked what they did with the parts they took out.  I told him usually they get rid of things like that, but us humans have been known to ask for the removed items.  He was slightly grossed out, shrugged and went about his day.  

Zeus is a tad bit spoiled, much like his big (dog) sister Maggie.  But this had to be done, no if, and or buts about it.  Maggie would be there to help him though it, and surly they could get along during the recovery, right?

So, here is after his procedure.  He was doing well with the pain and at that point was concerned with getting that collar off and EATING!  After this is when the prank begins...

We thought it would be funny to bring home what the kids would think were Zeus little testicles.  To pull this off, I took my oldest son with me to pick up the dog.  I let him in on the plan and on the way there we stopped at the store and bought a can a garbanzo beans. They looked rather believable to me!  Besides, it is not like they would know what puppy testicles looked like anyway, right? We put them in a specimen cup and the prank turned out like this: 

 

Cruel you say?  Funny you say? All I can say is this:  FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!  That was the best prank that we have ever pulled off and the reactions were priceless.  Some people have told us that paybacks are hell, but I don't think so.  This was the payback to the kids! LOL We deal with a lot as parents and this was just our little way of saying, "na na na boo boo...we got back at you!"  Parents of the year?  Doubtful, but we do love them dearly! Even if this video would make you think otherwise!

 

Positive in a Negative World

In a world full of negativity, I think it is good to fill our kids' heads with as much positive as possible.  I don't mean exaggerate and/or lie to make things sound great, but pointing out the obvious and making an effort to recognize something done well never hurt anyone.  And just to clarify, I don't mean to over do it and tell them good job for everything they do.  For example, at the age of nearly 9, I wouldn't hand out a compliment for getting his shoes on the right foot or picking up his room.  I might thank him for keeping up on his chores. 

I did however praise him for his performance on his state assessments.  He really put in an extra effort to prepare for the testing.  He spent time nearly every night doing extra practice work to brush up on skills he hadn't done since the beginning of the year and the ones he had a harder time with.  As a result he scored very well.  I think that deserved praise!  But again I didn't exaggerate it, I was clear at what I was proud about.  I told him, "All of your hard work paid off!  You did a great job!  Way to go!"  I didn't say anything like, "You're so smart"  "You're such a great test taker"  "You breezed through that test!"  Now let me explain why I did it the way I did.

Like I said, I pointed out the obvious.  My son worked very hard by studying for this test.  I wanted that to be the focus of my praise.  I wanted to be sure he understood that he did well on the test because of the effort he put into.  If I were to say things like "you're so smart"  "You made it look easy", etc...in my opinion, I think he might not work as hard the next time.  Maybe he will think that since he did so well, he doesn't have to put in as much effort next time.  Now don't get me wrong, I think my son is very smart.  But I do not ever want him to drop his habits of studying and preparing for things like this.  I want him to realize that he does this well due to working at it.

I also try to make sure that I add as much positive as possible to my daily life.  This particular blog is more focused towards my youngest, as an example only.  I do this with all of the kids.  So often it seems that being the youngest he is the first to get the brush off, the "hang a minute", "not right now" and the "I will think about it".  All of those comments come out of my mouth on a routine basis.  I am trying very hard to combat that and be sure to be more positive and attentive.  When I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and my son comes to me and needs my attention I need to be more aware of this and make it happen.  It's a bad habit and unfortunately all too easy to do.  He won't often complain, but that doesn't make it right.

On my commute home from work, it is my and my husband's time to talk with minimal interruption.  We share our stories from the day and catch up on things we need to discuss.  Why should I downplay anything my child has to say?  Who says his stories are not as important as mine?  Who says he doesn't need to be heard?  As I type this, I have a HUGE pang in my gut.  I feel horrible because I have been so guilty of this so many times.  All he needs is a few minutes and who am I to say he doesn't deserve it!  He most certainly does and I vow to make a huge effort to not lack on that again.  

His stories may be long and drawn out and there may be a lot of "and"'s and "ummmms" in his words, but that is OK with me.  He has a voice, he has a story and he should be heard.  He also has feelings, even though at this age I don't think he can properly express them.  I have more than likely crushed his feelings without any intent of doing so.  It doesn't excuse it, it just makes me want to change my ways.  I am not saying that you should drop everything you are doing every time you child has something to say, but what I am saying is make sure you are making time for them to be heard.

What if one day your child decided to not tell you things?  What is they decided it was not worth the time to try and share the stories of their day with you?  What if they gave up on trying to speak to you and you missed the important stuff?  What if you made the time?  What if your child came to you about all or most of the important stuff?  What if your child felt so comfortable talking to you they shared their life?

We can what if all we want, but why do we need to?  Here it is people, laid out for you.  You have to make time to listen, you have to praise without over praising.  We have to point out the rewards of their efforts.  We have to teach our children how to be good listeners and in the long wrong they will teach their kids.  We can start a revolution of open kids who feel comfortable talking.  They will feel heard, important and it will reflect in everything they do.  So, for all of you who think you really listen to your kids, for those who think they honestly take the extra time and praise where praise is deserved...think about it.  Make sure you are giving them the right to be heard, the pat on the back and great start to life that they will pass on. 

Daddy's Girl

It's tough watching your kids grow up, especially when you know they are making mistakes.  One of the hardest things we have ever done is stand back and watch as our daughter learned a tough life lesson. We tried to intervene in the beginning, but it was just making matters worse, so we had no choice but to pray all would turn out OK.  And just a side note, she was in no harm just heading for a huge hurt.  After all was said and done and she realized we had been there for her the whole time, she is getting back to her old self. The hard lesson is over and she is back to being a part of our family. She's a little older, a little wiser and very grateful for those who are there to help her.  

The first few days back at home were a little difficult for ALL of us, but it didn't take long for her and her Daddy to pick up right where they left off.  Maybe no one will be interested in this blog and to be honest, I kind of wrote it for myself really.  I love the looks on their faces and the it warms my heart to see her so happy right now.  She loves to wrestle with her dad and brothers, and the day in these pictures were no exception, lol...so, I am just sharing with you a personal joy in my crazy life. 

  

You're Doing It Wrong...Stop The Yelling

 I never really considered myself a big time "yeller" but when I look back and reflect, well damn!  I never knew.  Yelling doesn't always mean screaming at the top of lungs so loud they could hear you in China. Yelling is a way to communicate big feelings, and unfortunately poor form of verbal interaction.  Of course you will catch the attention of the person you are yelling at, but the focus is not there.  All of the words will not sink in, they will be more focused on the tone, pitch and volume of your voice.  

I come from a long line of yellers.  It was considered the norm for so long.  My father was a police officer, and his voice alone was enough to keep me in line.  My mom, well of course she yelled at me...she was raising me after all! LOL  Now as far as grandparents go, I remember my mom's parents as yellers, big time!  But not my dad's...at least not my grandma.  I remember Grandpa yelling, but it was never directed towards me so I didn't pay much attention to it.  

Parenting styles are inherited from your own upbringing and slightly tweak them to fit with your own values, experiences and the times.  There is 12 years between my oldest child and my youngest child.  And I can tell you that I do parent them differently.  It's not because my youngest is the baby either.  I was very young when I had my first 2 kids.  I didn't have as much patience and worldly experience.  By the time I had my 3rd child I was more mature, learned how to better cope with stressful situations and could learn from my, dare I say it...mistakes?  I don't think I raised any of my kids incorrectly.  They have all turned out just fine, (so far)...

I am/was a believer in spanking.  My thoughts on the topic have changed, but only slightly.   I do not believe it is abuse, I do not look down on people for doing it, but there is a proper way for it to be done effectively.  Now the difference between how I spanked my first 2 kids versus the last one?  Several things, all while keeping the same beliefs.  Was the last one just a better kid?  LMAO...No way!  They were all pretty ornery!  I had just learned to be more patient for starters.  There is a HUGE difference between a first time parent at 18 and 3rd time parent at 30.  I understood kids better by the 3rd one, and with that we were able to avoid situations where in the past would have resulted in a spanking and or yelling.  

So, back to the yelling...lol.  I think everyone is capable of yelling, just not everyone chooses to use that ability.  I think we can all agree that yelling is also one of the least effective forms of communication.  I would tend to shut down in most situations where I might be yelled at.  Yelling as a chosen form of communications is favorable to people who are bullies, abusers and drill sergeants.  They are all trying to show dominance and bring about respect through fear.  The only people that I think this can have any positive outcome might be the drill sergeant!  Their tactic is to break you in a sense, I have no desire to break anything that is part of my children.

With that in mind, it makes me rethink how I handle stressful issues and feelings of anger. If I am not careful, those moments can get out of control really quick and things might be said that don't need to be.  Or the volume of my voice can rise to a point that I have been shut out by the receiver.  And until you honestly think about it, think about how you might be in those moments, you just have no idea.  It was very eye opening for me.  It's like watching a movie of yourself, but in your head.  Imagine how you would feel being yelled at like that.  Take a moment, a long moment and seriously think about how you react and the volume and tone you use..........................................................................
Scary, isn't it?

There is a lot of talk these days about pets.  Such as training them, how you should speak to them to get the desired results and so on.  The big thing right now is to not beak their spirit, do not destroy who they really are because animals have feelings, too.  Well put your child in this story now, I by no means want to break my child's spirit or alter who they are at all.  I never want to speak to them in such a way that makes them feel they are "beneath me" or not my equal in respect.  I am not saying I want to them to get away with doing wrong, but I want to be sure to effectively communicate my feelings to them in hopes that they will do the same. I don't want them to live in fear of every action they do or every word they speak might upset me during everyday type situations. 

I am one of those that will fill in the blanks.  By that I mean, if I have asked a question and I am not getting a response, I am very likely to fill in the blank in hopes of getting some sort of a reply.  It might be exaggerated and it might not be, it will probably piss off the one I am speaking to, but when the moment is tense and the other party is not cooperating, tempers flare and words are not as well thought out.  I know I need to stop this, I know I need to be the one to remain in control of myself.  They second I lose control of my emotions, the situation at hand might as well not even exist because nothing positive will come of it this way.

So, how do you change this behavior?  How do you get others on board with it also?  Let's face it, the sooner everyone realizes that being in control of your actions is a much better way to communicate the better off it will all be.  I am not out to change my family by any means.  We are all who we are and that is what makes us, well...us!   We are not bad people, we are not mean.  If anything, we are just passionate and honestly slightly stubborn.  I cannot just spring this on them and expect everyone to follow suit and it'll be perfect.  I need to think about how I myself am going to approach this change.  I need to observe myself and take mental notes in various situations for just a bit.  I need to find out my trigger points and take it from there. 

I hope that through my own self observations that I can start to make little changes that might be noticed.  And by the time that I have a handle on making this work for myself, I can then share with my family and take it from there.  Hopefully by then they might be able to see a change and make it that much easier for us to all do this together.  I am not saying there will not be slip ups and the occasional emotional flare, but I think it will be able to handled better.  To ensure great communication and make for great family memories.  I am really digging this idea and I hope my family will also.  I want to put this out there as a personal challenge to anyone reading this.  Can you stop the yelling?  Stay tuned to see how I do!  

Back In The Day, A Little History Lesson

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"  But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.  Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell, Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men,  then the women and finally the

children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. And to think, we thought they were only for looks!  Who would have thought they were practical, (at one point and time), also! 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,

so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.

Hence: a thresh hold.    (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the

stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas

porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home

the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.

Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake

up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running

out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins

were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would

tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone

could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring

The Gay Boob and the Ass

Catchy title, huh?  Let me explain...we bought our youngest son a tablet, (Google Nexus, awesome!) not too long ago. Being the youngest of 4 (teens and adults), he always had envy of the older kids' electronics.  We didn't want to get him his own game system like the 2 boys.  He didn't need a fancy "I" product of any type.  He loved the features on our phones, (which are all Google based), so the tablet was the perfect choice! 

Even at the age of 8, the video game bug has bitten him.  He likes the game Minecraft.  He has to earn his game time, but he does well with it.  His other favorite thing to do with tablet time is watch various videos on Youtube.  That usually consists of videos about mind craft, cartoons and a few videos about pranksters   All innocent stuff that is done in front of us. 

Since today was President's Day he didn't have school and stayed home with his brother.  Around lunch time I got a call asking if he could get on his tablet for a bit.  I figured, why not?  He has been good, he is bored hanging with his brother, no harm, no foul.  I ate my lunch and afterwards I was going to show my coworker a funny video my husband put up on Youtube.  I brought it up on my phone and before I could get to the video I wanted to show her, I see where my youngest has "commented" on a video.  He has NEVER done that before and I clicked on it to check it out...WOW!  

I had to excuse myself from my coworker and go further check out what I was reading here.  Now mind you, it was NOT anything horrible, but it WAS posted by my 8 year old son!  The first video was from a popular Youtube couple that I will not mention their names.  They have been deleted from my son's account, lol.  It was not a bad thing, in fact they mentioned pranks in their title, so that must be why Youtube returned it in the search results.  In the video they were discussing zombie names from a online generator and the lady's came back as "Boob eater", the guy was Gay something.  So, my young, sweet and innocent 8 year old thought it would be cute to combine their names since he thought "boob eater" was gross.  He typed a simple comment, 2 words that made me flip..."Gay Boob".

Now I am sure he my son didn't mean it as an insult to anyone, not at all.  He knows what gay means, he knows what boob means.  And thanks goodness at 8, boobs are still gross, lmao!   It doesn't lessen the shock of seeing that typed out from my son's alias, (he is not allowed to use his real name online).  I called him, told him to put the tablet away, told him I saw the comment and I was not happy.  He instantly cried, claimed to understand my anger and hung up to go read a book.  I then called my husband and told him the story.  After he finally quit laughing, he decided that we really didn't set up the clearest of rules for him on the tablet.  He was usually on it around us, we hadn't needed to, until today.

I calmed down, called my son back and explained to him that it was not appropiate to use that word at his age or on the internet.  I told him we would talk about it when we got home from work.  In the middle of talking about it, my husband sends me a text that he saw another post from our son.  OMG...really child?!  Yes, again it was not age appropriate.  This one was on a vlog for the same couple, and they had shown a shot of hairy legs, clearly belonging to the man in the video.  Jokingly someone commented how hairy the girl's legs were, lol.  I guess it upset my son and he replied to this guy, "It his leg, ass".  I had to reread it several times and actually ask him what it meant, (it was before I saw the video.

It sounds horrible to say my 8 year old called a grown up an ass on Youtube, it makes it sound like we are horrible parents.  Honestly, we do use cuss words, he hears them, (don't judge) and he knows better than to use them himself.  Or at least we thought!  The funny thing, (yes...there is a funny part of this), I am not sure he meant it as an insult.  It would seem that way.  I sure thought so at first.  But as read the page, everyone was using this word.  Actually quiet a few people were calling others an ass.  Not that it makes it right by any mean, but he thought it was part of joke and was following along with everyone else.  I did have the urge to use my mother's famous line of "if all your friends jumped off a bridge...", but I refrained.  

To sum it up, my son was very embarrassed.  We checked his account activity very well and today was the first and only day he had ever commented on there.  It was also the last for a VERY long time.  He felt bad, and I don't think he thought it was visible by everyone.  He learned a valuable lesson, as did we.  We questioned our parenting for a few moments and then we were over it.  Lessons taught, lessons learned.  No one ever said raising kids was easy!!!!  I love my family!

OMG STFU

First let me just say, I love ALL of my kids...even the ones that act like assholes.  Yep, you read that right!  

You were thinking it, I just said it.  Hell I was thinking it too!  It's true, especially the older ones.  Oh the joys of parenthood!  It is such an extreme, ranging from being so proud one moment to wanting to gnaw your own arm off to get away to next.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids more than life itself, but some days are really a true test of strength, sanity and your ability to cope with pure ciaos. 

The good thing is that right now, only 2 of the 4 kids are pains.  I have questioned and judged my own parenting abilities after dealing with them, and I have come to this conclusion...they are just being assholes.  Cruel you say?  How could a parent say that about their own child you say?  Well, live with them, deal with their antics and then you tell me.  Trust me, calling them assholes is actually a nicer alternative.  

Its really not as bad as it sounds.  An asshole is simply someone who disrupts the generally tranquil nature of a certain situation or place.  They can also be a rude, selfish and/or offensive person.  So see, I have just described the majority of the world.  We can all be assholes from time to time, but 2 of these kids are pushing their limits!  Much like a lot of kids do.  But what is a parent who has tried everything to do?  You buckle up and hold on...it's gonna be a bumpy ride.

For the most part they are not doing anything that the majority of others kids don't do or things we haven't done ourselves at those ages.  It is just amplified and extreme at times. At some point you just hope there is a cut off point where it all stops.  You pray for it, you live for it!  You want to protect them from doing wrong, you want them to grow up happy healthy and hopefully fully intact...you can only do so much.

I pray that all of my kids grow up to be spectacular adults who strive to improve their very existence at every given moment.  But hell, let's get realistic.  I want them to finish college, get a job that pays better than average and remember to call their mother once in a while!  I want them happy, healthy and full of the knowledge that no matter how much of an asshole they were in their teen/young adult years that they are still loved and cared for, barely, but they are.  Is that too much to ask for?

So, before you plan your revenge and before you sever all ties to them, just remember...being an asshole is NOT always a permanent thing.  They are capable of  change, not all of them, but most.  There will be a few of you that are unlucky, God bless you, you are in my prayers.  For those who have the ones that turn around and become productive and semi proper members of society, count your blessings.  And secretly hope that their kids give them a dose of what you dealt with!  

I am holding out for the turn around and hoping the other two never start...until next time, peace, love and sanity.

What Is Normal?

Normal by definition: 1. conforming to a type, standard or regular pattern. 2. According with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule or principle. 3. Free from a mental disorder.  




Oh hell, I guess I am not "normal", by definition at least!  Especially when you compare me to the other moms and women my age around here.  We recently moved to a new area.  Its not far from our previous home, but it is an up and coming area that was really booming until the economy tanked.  A lot of "money" moved out this way and beige-topia was built to appease the masses.  

To be honest, we were not attracted by the social class of most of the residents, we are middle class and do just fine.  It was the schools we were after.  Our older kids have graduated and are in college. We only have one left in school.  And not to brag, but he is wise beyond his years...when he can be calm and think, lol.  We wanted him in a school that would challenge him.  So, here we are.  The heart of beige-topia and not the exact social norm.

I didn't think much about it until we went to back to school night at my son's school.  I have never seen so much plastic and I am not talking about school supplies and gym equipment.  Most of them had overly sized and overly perfect boobs, nonexistent waists and no asses.  There was a lot of faking baked tans and TONS of blonde hair dye!  And this is just the school staff!  HA!  Gotcha, lol...but seriously that does describe a LOT of the moms.  I felt a little different.  I am not a cow, but I am not a stick either, I do eat.  I had just come from work so I was still in scrubs.  Most of these women were in designer clothes, dressed to impress and flashy, showing it off.  Really ladies?  It's just a school, not a fashion run way...

The teeth bleaching is a serious habit there, so the schools could save money on lighting just by inviting the moms to the school more often.  Now I am not bashing on the "pretty people" because first of all they would have to be pretty, lol.  I am bashing on the fake people.  I would have plastic surgery in a heartbeat!  Who wouldn't love to have a tummy tuck after carrying 3 kids.  I would love for my boobs to be back in their original location. But to be honest, if it ever happens, yeah for me.  If not, I am fine with it.  Plus, my husband doesn't seemed grossed out by me, so it's all good!

I am just there for my child to have a top notch education and really have a great chance to excel in life.  If I have to be looked down on by some of these people, I can live with that.  For the most part nobody said much or looked at as funny.  But there were the few parents that pulled their kids a little closer after passing us in the hall, lol.  Maybe I should describe us a little better. My husband is over 6 feet tall, bald with a goatee.  I have brown hair down to my waist when it is not pulled up in a bun or ponytail.  We are jeans and t shirt kinda people.  If I could get away with it, I would wear flannel pajama pants everywhere.  Don't worry, I rarely wear them in public, lol. 




 We have a nice house, we have nice cars...it's not like we are parking them in the yard up on blocks, lol.  We don't have a couch on the front porch and no boards across the windows.  I would however dig a moat around my house to keep the annoying kids of the neighborhood from knocking on my door all the time.  


Occasionally we almost run over the neighborhood kids.  And it's not on purpose, really.  They seem to think it is OK to run through other's people yards which includes driveways. And when you have 4 vehicles in your driveway, you can't always see a kid running as fast as all get out.  My braking skills have improved, lucky for them.  When this happens, we sometimes get looks from the parents that might be outside.  Kind of like a "how dare you about back over my child who ran from in between 2 parked cars out of your eyesight and on your own property" sort of thing.  You know how it goes.  Totally our fault!  But yet I remain consistent with the fact that we are normal...

Some of these kids do not realize that they do not own everything around them.  They assume it is OK ride their backs through our yard, (new fence coming soon!), run over the sump pump drainage spouts, drop their bikes in our yard, leave their toys in our yard for us to find when we mow, to hang out 5 feet from someone's sliding glass door and scream at the top of their lungs at their brother, or worse yet when they stare through the door while you eat.  I blame this on their parents.  It's called having no manners and it is obviously not taught at the home.  It also borderlines on stupidity, because I thought it was common sense, however, I could be wrong.  I have to remind myself, money does not buy brains, money does NOT buy brains...*deep breath*

I might have gotten a little side tracked with this blog, after all it usually takes me half the day to write it since I am doing this at work, whenever I can squeeze in a few moments to write a line or 2.  Speaking of working, I am sure a lot of these women I was speaking about are stay at home moms, but not in the true sense.  To me, a stay at home mom is home...with a kid...at the same time.  Am I wrong?  I mean I could be.  I have not experienced this first hand, nor was raised by a stay at home mom.  I come from a working momma, and proud of it! 

I have nothing against stay at home moms, but if you are going to call yourself that, be sure you are home with a kid please!  I mean technically I guess I am a stay at home mom in the evenings, right?  I mean one or more of my kids are always home and so I am.  Its a technicality. 

And just to sum up here with the worst of the worst, it would be the family that does not belong, anywhere, but a remote island.  They have the worst acting kids, they are the parents that yell for everything, ignore if it suits and have been quoted saying this after you tell them of their child's bad behavior, "Don't be afraid to yell at them, it does no good for me to say anything.  They never listen to me.  They get on my nerves.  Get after them if you have to". Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold the door.  WTF did you just say?  Did you just tell, your new neighbor that you don't know, to basically discipline your children?  Are you like, FOR REAL LADY?  

I could think of many ways to discipline your children, but really...it's your job.  I like freedom and do not want to go to jail.  Just teach your kids respect, I don't care of you are rich, poor, middle class or no class.  Don't raise idiots...if we put a stop to it now, we could soon have an idiot free world to enjoy.  

JUST BE NORMAL!!!!!!!  

Ode To Bubble Wrap

In today's day and age when everyone is quick to prescribe a pill, let's think of an age old product that can relieve stress, cheer you up, make you smile and over all send you to a happy place.  That my friends would be called bubble wrap... 

The uses are many and there is fun to be had by all!  Often people don't look past the typical and most common use for this wonderful product.  It is so beyond a package material!  It not only keeps your packages safe from breakage while being mailed.  It can save a LIFE!  You read that right, bubble wrap saves lives!  Trust me on this one!  

Mondays can be stressful enough, add on top of that bitchy co-workers, annoying neighbors, rude clerks, this list goes on and on.  Just turn to the bubble wrap!  Pop a few, pop the whole damn sheet.  Pop until you feel better.  Pretend the bubbles are the heads of those annoying you!  BONUS!  



  

I can honestly say that I have never had to purchase bubble wrap.  And it is kind of exciting to open a package and find some! 
As long as the kids have not seen it, I usually pop a few and then put it away.  Saving the pops for when really needed!  You know that if and when the kids find it, it's all over.  They show no restraint when it comes to the popping.  They will pop your entire sheet in the blink of an eye.  Then what will you do?  


And maybe this is just me, but I get annoyed when someone else is popping bubble wrap.  Especially when it is mine!  The sound is not nearly as pleasing, and quiet frankly it's annoying as hell.  I can handle it for a minute, or for a few good pops.  But then it must stop!  That is MY free therapy they are popping.  I receive no benefits from others popping the bubble wrap.  

Of course it is also just fun to do, there does not always need to be stress.  Although it is a calming distraction, you can make it a functional piece of material.  For example:

Don't have anything to wear out on the town with that special someone?  Do you want a one of a kind original?  Well...Try a bubble wrap dress!  If there is a lull in the conversation, just start popping the dress to pass the time!  Interchange belts to create a whole new look!  

The night out went well and now it's wedding time!  Once again, not to be outdone...a one of a kind wedding dress!  Beautiful and functional!  When you are done, it "packs" well...

A few years after the wedding, you can be that overprotective mom!  Chances of injury are greatly reduced with this ensemble! You can also apply it to their heads and make a helmet of sorts...

And last but not least, if you do choose to dress with bubble wrap then you might want to look into the intergalactic space suits and cover all of your clothing needs...Zoltan approved. 





So, that is it in a nut shell...bubble wrap is fabulous!  And if you doubt me, well then just take his words for it...

And last, but not least: