What Is Normal?

Normal by definition: 1. conforming to a type, standard or regular pattern. 2. According with, constituting, or not deviating from a norm, rule or principle. 3. Free from a mental disorder.  




Oh hell, I guess I am not "normal", by definition at least!  Especially when you compare me to the other moms and women my age around here.  We recently moved to a new area.  Its not far from our previous home, but it is an up and coming area that was really booming until the economy tanked.  A lot of "money" moved out this way and beige-topia was built to appease the masses.  

To be honest, we were not attracted by the social class of most of the residents, we are middle class and do just fine.  It was the schools we were after.  Our older kids have graduated and are in college. We only have one left in school.  And not to brag, but he is wise beyond his years...when he can be calm and think, lol.  We wanted him in a school that would challenge him.  So, here we are.  The heart of beige-topia and not the exact social norm.

I didn't think much about it until we went to back to school night at my son's school.  I have never seen so much plastic and I am not talking about school supplies and gym equipment.  Most of them had overly sized and overly perfect boobs, nonexistent waists and no asses.  There was a lot of faking baked tans and TONS of blonde hair dye!  And this is just the school staff!  HA!  Gotcha, lol...but seriously that does describe a LOT of the moms.  I felt a little different.  I am not a cow, but I am not a stick either, I do eat.  I had just come from work so I was still in scrubs.  Most of these women were in designer clothes, dressed to impress and flashy, showing it off.  Really ladies?  It's just a school, not a fashion run way...

The teeth bleaching is a serious habit there, so the schools could save money on lighting just by inviting the moms to the school more often.  Now I am not bashing on the "pretty people" because first of all they would have to be pretty, lol.  I am bashing on the fake people.  I would have plastic surgery in a heartbeat!  Who wouldn't love to have a tummy tuck after carrying 3 kids.  I would love for my boobs to be back in their original location. But to be honest, if it ever happens, yeah for me.  If not, I am fine with it.  Plus, my husband doesn't seemed grossed out by me, so it's all good!

I am just there for my child to have a top notch education and really have a great chance to excel in life.  If I have to be looked down on by some of these people, I can live with that.  For the most part nobody said much or looked at as funny.  But there were the few parents that pulled their kids a little closer after passing us in the hall, lol.  Maybe I should describe us a little better. My husband is over 6 feet tall, bald with a goatee.  I have brown hair down to my waist when it is not pulled up in a bun or ponytail.  We are jeans and t shirt kinda people.  If I could get away with it, I would wear flannel pajama pants everywhere.  Don't worry, I rarely wear them in public, lol. 




 We have a nice house, we have nice cars...it's not like we are parking them in the yard up on blocks, lol.  We don't have a couch on the front porch and no boards across the windows.  I would however dig a moat around my house to keep the annoying kids of the neighborhood from knocking on my door all the time.  


Occasionally we almost run over the neighborhood kids.  And it's not on purpose, really.  They seem to think it is OK to run through other's people yards which includes driveways. And when you have 4 vehicles in your driveway, you can't always see a kid running as fast as all get out.  My braking skills have improved, lucky for them.  When this happens, we sometimes get looks from the parents that might be outside.  Kind of like a "how dare you about back over my child who ran from in between 2 parked cars out of your eyesight and on your own property" sort of thing.  You know how it goes.  Totally our fault!  But yet I remain consistent with the fact that we are normal...

Some of these kids do not realize that they do not own everything around them.  They assume it is OK ride their backs through our yard, (new fence coming soon!), run over the sump pump drainage spouts, drop their bikes in our yard, leave their toys in our yard for us to find when we mow, to hang out 5 feet from someone's sliding glass door and scream at the top of their lungs at their brother, or worse yet when they stare through the door while you eat.  I blame this on their parents.  It's called having no manners and it is obviously not taught at the home.  It also borderlines on stupidity, because I thought it was common sense, however, I could be wrong.  I have to remind myself, money does not buy brains, money does NOT buy brains...*deep breath*

I might have gotten a little side tracked with this blog, after all it usually takes me half the day to write it since I am doing this at work, whenever I can squeeze in a few moments to write a line or 2.  Speaking of working, I am sure a lot of these women I was speaking about are stay at home moms, but not in the true sense.  To me, a stay at home mom is home...with a kid...at the same time.  Am I wrong?  I mean I could be.  I have not experienced this first hand, nor was raised by a stay at home mom.  I come from a working momma, and proud of it! 

I have nothing against stay at home moms, but if you are going to call yourself that, be sure you are home with a kid please!  I mean technically I guess I am a stay at home mom in the evenings, right?  I mean one or more of my kids are always home and so I am.  Its a technicality. 

And just to sum up here with the worst of the worst, it would be the family that does not belong, anywhere, but a remote island.  They have the worst acting kids, they are the parents that yell for everything, ignore if it suits and have been quoted saying this after you tell them of their child's bad behavior, "Don't be afraid to yell at them, it does no good for me to say anything.  They never listen to me.  They get on my nerves.  Get after them if you have to". Whoa, whoa, whoa...hold the door.  WTF did you just say?  Did you just tell, your new neighbor that you don't know, to basically discipline your children?  Are you like, FOR REAL LADY?  

I could think of many ways to discipline your children, but really...it's your job.  I like freedom and do not want to go to jail.  Just teach your kids respect, I don't care of you are rich, poor, middle class or no class.  Don't raise idiots...if we put a stop to it now, we could soon have an idiot free world to enjoy.  

JUST BE NORMAL!!!!!!!