The Foo Fighters Keep Me Sane

On stressful days I need something to help me relax and unwind.  Since I don't think I want to dabble in illegal drug use and becoming an alcoholic can be rather costly, I choose music as my form for relaxation. More specifically, the Foo Fighters.  Even more specifically, Dave Grohl.  I am sure I drive my husband crazy with my Dave Grohl "obsession", if you would even exactly call it an obsession, lol, (OK, maybe a little), so I will just share some of it here with all of you.

Dave was born January 14, 1969 in Warren, Ohio.  A short 6 years later his family moved to Virginia.  At the age of 12 he grew tired of taking guitar lessons and from that point on was self taught. By the time he reached high school he was teaching himself the drums.  He was in a string throughout high school and at the age of 17 joined up with the band Scream. While in Scream he was introduced to Kurt Cobain and Krist Novoselic...he soon joined up as the drummer of Nirvana. 

Dave had been writing songs for several years and in the beginning of joining Nirvana he struggled to find his place in the band.  He kept most of his song writing to himself at the time due to being is awe of Cobain's song writing talents.  He instead recorded the songs himself and released them on a cassette titled Pocketwatch in 1992, under the name "Late!".  His songwriting contributions to Nirvana increased over the last couple of years. After the death of Cobain, Dave wasn't sure exactly what to do...so he did what he does best, he hit the studio and layed down a quick 15 tracks.  Of those 15 tracks, Grohl played every single insturment, (with the exception of one song). 

Dave's many talents put him in a good place.  He had many offers for work, such as Tom Petty and Heartbreakers, once rumored was Pearl Jam. None of which he accepted of course.  His demo was stirring up a lot of interest from the labels, and he signed with Capitol.  Not wanting it seem like he was launching a solo career he quickly gathered up some talent that would known as the Foo Fighters in 1995.  The professionally mixed the album Grohl recorded and the wheels were in motion. 



Since that time and nearly 8 albums later The Foo Fighters have come a long way.  Dave has proven himself over and over as strong force in Rock music.  He is truly the epitome of talented musician, playing a range of instruments (self taught to boot), inspiring song writer and awesome performer.  He has put his creative genius to work by helping out Veruca, Salt Queens of the Stone Age, Tonacious D just to name a few.  He has co-hosted, advocated and fundraised.  He is an all around good guy who is generous enough to share is many talents with the world.  He is humbled, level headed and has great philosophies on life and the ways of the world. 

Well, that is my ramblings on my favorite...the music that calms me, relaxes me and carries away my stress.  And Dave Grohl being so hot is just the bonus. Here's a few more pics for your enjoyment! 

Pranking the Kids, Had to Put it on You Tube!

We knew we were good parents, but this video just proves it!  Let me give you the back story here and let you watch the video...we got a new puppy a few months ago.  He has proven to be a great addition to our family, but he has also proven to be a lot of work! The kids have all been great pitching in for the most part, but they still have a lot to learn about dealing with a puppy, especially a Miniature Pinscher...he may be little, but he thinks he's big.  See for yourself: 

Yes, his name is "Uncle Hey Zeus", don't judge. We just have a weird sense of humor.  He just goes by Zeus.  Anywho...we have had an appointment for him to get neutered and Saturday was the big day.  Our youngest, (who is soon to be 9) asked us about the "procedure" as he called it.  He asked what they did with the parts they took out.  I told him usually they get rid of things like that, but us humans have been known to ask for the removed items.  He was slightly grossed out, shrugged and went about his day.  

Zeus is a tad bit spoiled, much like his big (dog) sister Maggie.  But this had to be done, no if, and or buts about it.  Maggie would be there to help him though it, and surly they could get along during the recovery, right?

So, here is after his procedure.  He was doing well with the pain and at that point was concerned with getting that collar off and EATING!  After this is when the prank begins...

We thought it would be funny to bring home what the kids would think were Zeus little testicles.  To pull this off, I took my oldest son with me to pick up the dog.  I let him in on the plan and on the way there we stopped at the store and bought a can a garbanzo beans. They looked rather believable to me!  Besides, it is not like they would know what puppy testicles looked like anyway, right? We put them in a specimen cup and the prank turned out like this: 

 

Cruel you say?  Funny you say? All I can say is this:  FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!  That was the best prank that we have ever pulled off and the reactions were priceless.  Some people have told us that paybacks are hell, but I don't think so.  This was the payback to the kids! LOL We deal with a lot as parents and this was just our little way of saying, "na na na boo boo...we got back at you!"  Parents of the year?  Doubtful, but we do love them dearly! Even if this video would make you think otherwise!

 

Positive in a Negative World

In a world full of negativity, I think it is good to fill our kids' heads with as much positive as possible.  I don't mean exaggerate and/or lie to make things sound great, but pointing out the obvious and making an effort to recognize something done well never hurt anyone.  And just to clarify, I don't mean to over do it and tell them good job for everything they do.  For example, at the age of nearly 9, I wouldn't hand out a compliment for getting his shoes on the right foot or picking up his room.  I might thank him for keeping up on his chores. 

I did however praise him for his performance on his state assessments.  He really put in an extra effort to prepare for the testing.  He spent time nearly every night doing extra practice work to brush up on skills he hadn't done since the beginning of the year and the ones he had a harder time with.  As a result he scored very well.  I think that deserved praise!  But again I didn't exaggerate it, I was clear at what I was proud about.  I told him, "All of your hard work paid off!  You did a great job!  Way to go!"  I didn't say anything like, "You're so smart"  "You're such a great test taker"  "You breezed through that test!"  Now let me explain why I did it the way I did.

Like I said, I pointed out the obvious.  My son worked very hard by studying for this test.  I wanted that to be the focus of my praise.  I wanted to be sure he understood that he did well on the test because of the effort he put into.  If I were to say things like "you're so smart"  "You made it look easy", etc...in my opinion, I think he might not work as hard the next time.  Maybe he will think that since he did so well, he doesn't have to put in as much effort next time.  Now don't get me wrong, I think my son is very smart.  But I do not ever want him to drop his habits of studying and preparing for things like this.  I want him to realize that he does this well due to working at it.

I also try to make sure that I add as much positive as possible to my daily life.  This particular blog is more focused towards my youngest, as an example only.  I do this with all of the kids.  So often it seems that being the youngest he is the first to get the brush off, the "hang a minute", "not right now" and the "I will think about it".  All of those comments come out of my mouth on a routine basis.  I am trying very hard to combat that and be sure to be more positive and attentive.  When I am running around like a chicken with my head cut off, and my son comes to me and needs my attention I need to be more aware of this and make it happen.  It's a bad habit and unfortunately all too easy to do.  He won't often complain, but that doesn't make it right.

On my commute home from work, it is my and my husband's time to talk with minimal interruption.  We share our stories from the day and catch up on things we need to discuss.  Why should I downplay anything my child has to say?  Who says his stories are not as important as mine?  Who says he doesn't need to be heard?  As I type this, I have a HUGE pang in my gut.  I feel horrible because I have been so guilty of this so many times.  All he needs is a few minutes and who am I to say he doesn't deserve it!  He most certainly does and I vow to make a huge effort to not lack on that again.  

His stories may be long and drawn out and there may be a lot of "and"'s and "ummmms" in his words, but that is OK with me.  He has a voice, he has a story and he should be heard.  He also has feelings, even though at this age I don't think he can properly express them.  I have more than likely crushed his feelings without any intent of doing so.  It doesn't excuse it, it just makes me want to change my ways.  I am not saying that you should drop everything you are doing every time you child has something to say, but what I am saying is make sure you are making time for them to be heard.

What if one day your child decided to not tell you things?  What is they decided it was not worth the time to try and share the stories of their day with you?  What if they gave up on trying to speak to you and you missed the important stuff?  What if you made the time?  What if your child came to you about all or most of the important stuff?  What if your child felt so comfortable talking to you they shared their life?

We can what if all we want, but why do we need to?  Here it is people, laid out for you.  You have to make time to listen, you have to praise without over praising.  We have to point out the rewards of their efforts.  We have to teach our children how to be good listeners and in the long wrong they will teach their kids.  We can start a revolution of open kids who feel comfortable talking.  They will feel heard, important and it will reflect in everything they do.  So, for all of you who think you really listen to your kids, for those who think they honestly take the extra time and praise where praise is deserved...think about it.  Make sure you are giving them the right to be heard, the pat on the back and great start to life that they will pass on. 

Daddy's Girl

It's tough watching your kids grow up, especially when you know they are making mistakes.  One of the hardest things we have ever done is stand back and watch as our daughter learned a tough life lesson. We tried to intervene in the beginning, but it was just making matters worse, so we had no choice but to pray all would turn out OK.  And just a side note, she was in no harm just heading for a huge hurt.  After all was said and done and she realized we had been there for her the whole time, she is getting back to her old self. The hard lesson is over and she is back to being a part of our family. She's a little older, a little wiser and very grateful for those who are there to help her.  

The first few days back at home were a little difficult for ALL of us, but it didn't take long for her and her Daddy to pick up right where they left off.  Maybe no one will be interested in this blog and to be honest, I kind of wrote it for myself really.  I love the looks on their faces and the it warms my heart to see her so happy right now.  She loves to wrestle with her dad and brothers, and the day in these pictures were no exception, lol...so, I am just sharing with you a personal joy in my crazy life. 

  

You're Doing It Wrong...Stop The Yelling

 I never really considered myself a big time "yeller" but when I look back and reflect, well damn!  I never knew.  Yelling doesn't always mean screaming at the top of lungs so loud they could hear you in China. Yelling is a way to communicate big feelings, and unfortunately poor form of verbal interaction.  Of course you will catch the attention of the person you are yelling at, but the focus is not there.  All of the words will not sink in, they will be more focused on the tone, pitch and volume of your voice.  

I come from a long line of yellers.  It was considered the norm for so long.  My father was a police officer, and his voice alone was enough to keep me in line.  My mom, well of course she yelled at me...she was raising me after all! LOL  Now as far as grandparents go, I remember my mom's parents as yellers, big time!  But not my dad's...at least not my grandma.  I remember Grandpa yelling, but it was never directed towards me so I didn't pay much attention to it.  

Parenting styles are inherited from your own upbringing and slightly tweak them to fit with your own values, experiences and the times.  There is 12 years between my oldest child and my youngest child.  And I can tell you that I do parent them differently.  It's not because my youngest is the baby either.  I was very young when I had my first 2 kids.  I didn't have as much patience and worldly experience.  By the time I had my 3rd child I was more mature, learned how to better cope with stressful situations and could learn from my, dare I say it...mistakes?  I don't think I raised any of my kids incorrectly.  They have all turned out just fine, (so far)...

I am/was a believer in spanking.  My thoughts on the topic have changed, but only slightly.   I do not believe it is abuse, I do not look down on people for doing it, but there is a proper way for it to be done effectively.  Now the difference between how I spanked my first 2 kids versus the last one?  Several things, all while keeping the same beliefs.  Was the last one just a better kid?  LMAO...No way!  They were all pretty ornery!  I had just learned to be more patient for starters.  There is a HUGE difference between a first time parent at 18 and 3rd time parent at 30.  I understood kids better by the 3rd one, and with that we were able to avoid situations where in the past would have resulted in a spanking and or yelling.  

So, back to the yelling...lol.  I think everyone is capable of yelling, just not everyone chooses to use that ability.  I think we can all agree that yelling is also one of the least effective forms of communication.  I would tend to shut down in most situations where I might be yelled at.  Yelling as a chosen form of communications is favorable to people who are bullies, abusers and drill sergeants.  They are all trying to show dominance and bring about respect through fear.  The only people that I think this can have any positive outcome might be the drill sergeant!  Their tactic is to break you in a sense, I have no desire to break anything that is part of my children.

With that in mind, it makes me rethink how I handle stressful issues and feelings of anger. If I am not careful, those moments can get out of control really quick and things might be said that don't need to be.  Or the volume of my voice can rise to a point that I have been shut out by the receiver.  And until you honestly think about it, think about how you might be in those moments, you just have no idea.  It was very eye opening for me.  It's like watching a movie of yourself, but in your head.  Imagine how you would feel being yelled at like that.  Take a moment, a long moment and seriously think about how you react and the volume and tone you use..........................................................................
Scary, isn't it?

There is a lot of talk these days about pets.  Such as training them, how you should speak to them to get the desired results and so on.  The big thing right now is to not beak their spirit, do not destroy who they really are because animals have feelings, too.  Well put your child in this story now, I by no means want to break my child's spirit or alter who they are at all.  I never want to speak to them in such a way that makes them feel they are "beneath me" or not my equal in respect.  I am not saying I want to them to get away with doing wrong, but I want to be sure to effectively communicate my feelings to them in hopes that they will do the same. I don't want them to live in fear of every action they do or every word they speak might upset me during everyday type situations. 

I am one of those that will fill in the blanks.  By that I mean, if I have asked a question and I am not getting a response, I am very likely to fill in the blank in hopes of getting some sort of a reply.  It might be exaggerated and it might not be, it will probably piss off the one I am speaking to, but when the moment is tense and the other party is not cooperating, tempers flare and words are not as well thought out.  I know I need to stop this, I know I need to be the one to remain in control of myself.  They second I lose control of my emotions, the situation at hand might as well not even exist because nothing positive will come of it this way.

So, how do you change this behavior?  How do you get others on board with it also?  Let's face it, the sooner everyone realizes that being in control of your actions is a much better way to communicate the better off it will all be.  I am not out to change my family by any means.  We are all who we are and that is what makes us, well...us!   We are not bad people, we are not mean.  If anything, we are just passionate and honestly slightly stubborn.  I cannot just spring this on them and expect everyone to follow suit and it'll be perfect.  I need to think about how I myself am going to approach this change.  I need to observe myself and take mental notes in various situations for just a bit.  I need to find out my trigger points and take it from there. 

I hope that through my own self observations that I can start to make little changes that might be noticed.  And by the time that I have a handle on making this work for myself, I can then share with my family and take it from there.  Hopefully by then they might be able to see a change and make it that much easier for us to all do this together.  I am not saying there will not be slip ups and the occasional emotional flare, but I think it will be able to handled better.  To ensure great communication and make for great family memories.  I am really digging this idea and I hope my family will also.  I want to put this out there as a personal challenge to anyone reading this.  Can you stop the yelling?  Stay tuned to see how I do!  

Back In The Day, A Little History Lesson

They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot and once a day it was taken and sold to the tannery...if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor"  But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot......they "didn't have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn't just how you like it, think about how things used to be.  Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell, Brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men,  then the women and finally the

children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it.. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof...Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence. And to think, we thought they were only for looks!  Who would have thought they were practical, (at one point and time), also! 

The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, "Dirt poor." The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet,

so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way.

Hence: a thresh hold.    (Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire.. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the

stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas

porridge in the pot nine days old. Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home

the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days.

Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial.. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake

up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

England is old and small and the local folks started running

out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins

were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive... So they would

tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone

could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth....Now, whoever said History was boring

Snowpocalypse 2013

For those of you here in the Midwest that are shocked at the amount of snow we are getting, did you forget where we live?  Geez people!  It's winter, it snows, and we have been lucky the past couple of years.  And this second round, well it's Mother Nature's way of saying shut up pansies, shit happens!  With that being said, let me not forget to mention that I hate the snow, too.  I wish I lived in an area that didn't have harsh winters.  But I live here in the Midwest, always have, always will.  Therefore I have no reason to bitch about it. 

I think being prepared is a great thing, but some of you have gone way overboard!  I mean, it's a snow storm.  The sun will rise, the temps will go up and the snow will melt soon.  Road crews get the streets cleared and it's back to normal.  We're talking a day or 2.  So why in the hell are people buying out the stores like its the end of the world!  Seriously, did you really have to buy 6 gallons of milk, 8 loaves of bread and 10 dozen eggs?  And with the amount of cheese that was bought, I hope those people also bought some stool softeners! 

I have a great idea, for all of those people that complain that they have no time to clean and catch up on laundry...do it now while you can!  Those isles were still full of products! Maybe you can straighten up closets, clean out the cabinets.  Or even go play in the snow with the kids, enjoy a snow day with them!.  Sledding is a fun, help a neighbor shovel out their driveway or sidewalks.  

My whole point to this rant was the over buying of groceries.  We ALWAYS do our weekly shopping on the weekends.  It was such an aggravating adventure, only half our list was even purchasable. There was NO reason to see empty shelves at the stores.  It made us laugh after we thought about it.  ALl of those people "stocking up" will be feeling the aggravation when all of that food goes bad and they never came close to using it all.  They bought so much that it left people without.  We are not procrastinators, we were there 48 hours before the storm is even thought to be entering the area.  It was just crazy!  I might have to go steal a damn chicken to just to get some eggs!  And I need eggs to make my own bread since it was all gone!  

We are going to wait until tomorrow when the storm hits and take our happy asses in our excellent running 4X4, driven very well by husband and finish our shopping.  We are buying what we normally would for the week, and at the end of the week we will do it all over again.  We have a strong gut feeling that this snow WILL melt and go away soon.  We also are fairly certain that we will NOT be trapped in our homes and forced to eat our pets and young to survive.  Call us crazy, but we will also not have a shit ton of wasted food go bad this week.  We will also be careful to not wipe out the stock, (unless there is a GREAT coupon deal going on!).

So fair well my fellow Midwesterners!  Guard your livestock from thieves, hide your food fortunes well, batten down the hatches, board up the windows and doors and brace yourself for a huge amount of snow.  And in 2 days or less...enjoy watching it all melt away.